Yes! I have the worst curse EVER. I seriously have the hardest time saying no. If I happen to say no, it doesn't take long to pressure me into a yes.
The last 2 weeks of work I have not gotten off on time. There is always an issue. Someone always needs to leave early, or someone doesn't show up...so when they ask me to cover, I say yes. Even if I have a great excuse, I end up staying.
Someone close to me once told me I had an amazing GIFT of kindness. But lately I see it more as a draining curse. It is not just at work. I feel like I get taken advantage of, because I feel bad and do what I think is the nice thing to do, even if it takes away from my family. I don't stand up enough for myself and cant always express my needs, so while I am too nice to others, I am being mean to myself.
I have often heard other people tell me you can never be too nice.
I don't feel like I sacrifice a lot, or give people too much. I'm not awesome like that, that is my husbands department.
There have been times, now and in the past, where I have lived with people. I am to scared of being mean, to ask them to help with things, like chores. I am just so afraid I will say something wrong or that I might offend, that I rather suck it up and do everything myself instead of having them do their part. Plus if I do it, I know it is done right...RIGHT KADE! ;D There is also a pride issue, I think that I should be able to handle everything by myself, I don't need help.
I guess I am just terrified. Because when it comes down to it, I CAN say no, or ask people to do things, but in the long run, is it worth it? What if I stepped on someones toes? Do I want the few friends that I have to not like me? IDK I feel like the reason for having such a hard time saying no is, because in my heart I feel like that is being mean. If I am being mean...well that isn't okay with me.
The thing is, sometimes it wears me down. Sometimes, I just want to be selfish. I get tired of being nice, so I become resentful. I feel like people take advantage of me because I am willing to do things. When in reality, they probably have NO idea how I feel. It is honestly unhealthy to be too nice...it takes away from me emotionally and physically.
I am hoping I can learn to be nice, but know when it is okay to say NO, or HELP.
Any suggestions?
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I'm a lot the same way Stephanie. I don't want to offend anyone or step on any one's toes either. But you have a responsibility to yourself and to your family. Your family should come first always, don't let other petty things get in the way of that. You also need to take care of yourself, because if you don't, your family will suffer. It's not easy to say no to people, but sometimes it's necessary. Don't ever feel bad doing what's right for you and your family, even if that means saying no to somebody else.
ReplyDeleteI always feel like I need to explain why. Why I can't stay longer, why I can't do this or that, blah, blah, blah. Lately if I know I can't or I have previous plans I just say I can't. It's been a life saver for me. If you think about it, it's really none of your co-workers business why you can't stay late, so don't explain yourself, just say sorry I can't. I still struggle with not giving everyone my reasons why and my life story but I'm getting better. Hopefully you will find what works for you! Good luck!!
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