Time Flies As I Fall

So much has happened in such a short time. Okay it hasn't been too short, my last blog was almost a year ago. Well i will give you a summary. A year ago i wouldn't have guessed i would be where i am today. I officially had some life changing experiences. 


When i graduated i figured i would be married and starting my family. Engaged at 18.

good ol' Dobby.  I could have been suzie's cousin if I would have married him.

 A year later i am just a student who has fallen in love and on her face more times than she can count. I have been engaged to 3 different men, other then Kade, I have had major heartbreaks and feelings i never wanted to experience and hope to never feel again. I can say that i have grown so much as a person. I don't even know where to start.


Stets was hard.  Never thinking you are good enough to be with someone really messes with your head.  He was such a cutie who I loved being around.  He did have a mother that hated me though.  I don't know what I did, but she thought I was bad news.  When he got what he wanted and couldn't get anything more he tossed me aside...

Stets

My messiest heart beak started with me being so happy, and i thought this is it, he completes me. i soon found out that when your not wanted it doesn't matter how much you want it to work out, he broke my heart in a way i didn't think i could survive.  I never initially wanted to date him, and really did it because he asked, but we clicked and we were so close after a while.  Being ten years apart and him having kids didn't matter to me.  He told me he was going to marry me when he got back from basic training...I was excited for that. He left for the army and I never heard from him again. After i finally figured out that it was over with him i was so depressed with life. Why would such a perfect fit leave me in the dust? Why wasn't my life working out? I just couldn't figure it out.

Pauliewog not a fan of pics, I don't even have one of us together :(

Next chapter of my life, started when i thought i was disappearing. I fell super fast for a boy that use to be my close friend, who i relied on because i just needed someone to be around. I had seen him in a new light, he was wonderful, perfect in so many ways. But when it is a long distance relationship the relationship is so much different.  we seemed to fight more than just talk.

TroyBuzz

one day when life was still rocky, a boy that i hadn't seen in a while text-ed me, we went on a date and for the first time in what seemed like eternity... i had fun. i went on a date, and laughed. i went on a date and smiled the whole time. i laughed, i smiled...this is a new thing for me. it ended and i didn't think anything of it, it was just a good time. My date haha after all didn't seem interested, so i thought i made a new friend. but he kept calling. Kade kept texting, Kade wanted to date me! He made me smile more than i can ever remember smiling before. Kade knew what was going on with me and my messy life and waited for me to work things out. Things didn't end the way i hoped with Troy but like Dr. House says you can't always get what you want...or was that Jagger? But i did get what i needed. i got a great friend out of the whole mess. But right now in life i have learned that you don't get what you want, but what you need and that god is always looking out for you. Even when you fall down a hole that you cant get out of. he sends someone with a rope to help you out. Kade was my rope, he has truly made me happy. i have never felt this way before. THIS IS LOVE, THE FOREVER KIND. The kind that both of us feel, and we want it to grow stronger. 

Mr. Kade

We spend every minute together that we can. when I'm not at work i am with him. he helps me to be a better person. i for the first time in a long time am choosing the right. i am walking down a path that is going to lead me to happiness. i love the person i am when i am with Kade, Mr. Kade has made the biggest difference in my life.
I honestly am grateful for all the boys i have dated and for all the heartache. Because without all that i wouldn't be the person i am today. SO thanks. Thank you for everything you did for me, and for putting up with everything i put you through. I love you all so much!