I knew the long memorial day weekend was coming, meaning only 2 more weeks before Ragnar. Meaning a few days/nights without my nursing son. I have been trying to slowly reduce the amount of time I nursed Lex. For a few weeks he wasn't nursing at all during the day, but he would ask, beg, and cry. He didn't understand why he got to nurse sometimes but not other times. It broke my heart, when he would ask day after day and cry and say please, please, please. I went back to letting him nurse, but only when he asked twice. For example, I would get him real food, if he asked again I would nurse him. He normally is only persistent when he is tired and ready for a nap or bed.
I knew I would need Kade to help wean him, I'm such a pushover to my baby. And it was a 3 day weekend and it would give us an extra night where he could cry all night and it wouldn't bother Kade's work day. I hoped it would only be one hard night and lucky for us it was. Second night was hard too, but not as miserable. By the third day he stopped asking at all. I think the reason it has been so hard is that, he hates cow milk. He still wont drink it very well, I can't figure out why, because he loves almost everything.
These pictures were taken Friday morning I nursed him for a nap. I realized it would be the last time and right after he fell asleep I took some pictures and I may have cried. No joke, I LOVED nursing him. I don't want this time to end, I don't want him to get any bigger. We have had such a tight and special bond...I wish I could hold on to it longer. I feel immensely guilty for being the one to end it instead of him growing out of it. But it lasted 9 more months than I initially planned and don't get me wrong some days I'm really ready to be done.
The weekend is now gone, I'm super sore, and look forward to feeling better & having my body to myself, YAY. Lex seems to be adjusting, I'm thankful that he isn't more upset. I was so worried I wouldn't get snuggles anymore, but that is how he prefers to fall asleep. Every night he crawls up into bed, we snuggle, he falls asleep, I put him in his crib. I'm so pleased we still have a tight bond. Love you Lex, I wish the time didn't go so fast!
.jpg)
Ending nursing is sooooo much harder than I e ear thought it would be, so I totally understand your struggle. I have nursed both my kids for months after I thought I would. I always feel guilty though because I mainly wean so I can get pregnant again. Apparently nursing is like iron clad birth control for me, at least you are trying to get in shape, I feel guilty for stopping because I want another baby. This mommy stuff is so tough! :)
ReplyDeleteIf I don't feel guilty about one thing, there is always something else to feel guilty about. So many opinions and decisions to make. I felt like it was so selfish, to have a get away, but eventually it would have ended. The hardest part now, is the hormone change...it's like postpartum ups and downs all over again, ugh. The things we do for our angels, haha.
Delete